be an Ironman.
Publically said it - for all of the world to see.
This morning I woke up in a sort of panic and thought to myself, "WHAT HAVE I DONE??". Lol. I checked Facebook. Only 4 people took interest. Maybe I can just quietly delete my post and act like I never said a word...
Then I thought to myself, why CAN'T you be an Ironman?? What's stopping you?
That silly voice inside of my head that is so persistent and loud said-- "um.. you are fat. You can barely run 2 miles. You are lazy. You aren't motivated. You aren't driven. You are a dreamer." She sighed and looked down at her nails she was loudly filing in the corner..
Then I said again, "no seriously-- why CAN'T I be an Ironman? I am healthy. I am able. I am athletic. I have no real commitments outside of my job. I have a support system. I have a bike. I even have two bikes. I have a bike trainer. I was a competitive swimmer. I have run marathons. This is a good start. Why CAN'T I??
That other voice stayed filing her nails in the corner of my mind but had fallen silent.
So, on Day 0-- this is my current situation. I am 160 pounds. That's 40 pounds away from 200 for all of you non-mathematicians out there. As I sit here typing, I have folds of fat that kind of push against my waistline and feel stuffed against my clothes. I have cellulite and its starting to form everywhere. My face is getting fatter.. Yeck. My outside runs are slow and laborious... I'm at something like a 12:00 mile pace and yesterday I got out there and took forever to do 2.5 miles. (In my defense, it was the hilliest course ever and I ran with irritating/irrational dogs who think they run me...).
So that's where we're at. :)
I do have a plan.
- I have already hired a nutrition/lifting coach. I wait patiently for his instruction. If you're reading this Coach, ahem. More to come on this.
- I am strongly considering hiring a tri coach in the area that I've worked with before.
- I am looking at training FIRST for a 70.3 (half-ironman) in March in my old home (but not at all where I'm from)--Puerto Rico.
That voice in my head is right on one thing. I am a dreamer. I happen to be a dreamer who dreams BIG. I had a dream to graduate from the United States Air Force Academy. I had a dream to become a forensics expert. I even had a dream to work for the world's elite investigative agency (which incidentally is NOTHING like that new TV show-- I literally wanted to stab myself in the neck with a fork after watching 30 minutes of it...I say we all boycott...) I dream big and because of it, I have been blessed to have lived big. I don't settle. Not for my career. Not for men. And now, I'm not settling for what is ulitmately supposed to happen by all predictive accounts--I mean, right? I'm supposed to get old and tired and fat and sick with heart disease and diabetes and just... sit around and dream.
In the triathlon world, there is a saying... you never know until you tri.
One last thing. I have had this idea in my head since at least 2007. 8 years ago I met an Ironman (the first I'd ever met) who had done like...12. He wasn't the nicest guy and seemed to walk around like the rest of us were peons because we were not iron like him. I thought to myself. I can do that. But when I do it, it won't be like he's done it. I'll take everyone along with me and encourage and motivate and inspire if I can. Fast forward about 7 years to when I joined BTA. (shout out to BTA!!). This group of predominatelty African-American triathletes who have engaged in a sport not known for its diversity-- has literally catapulted my imagination into this goal. The members of BTA have shown me that anything is possible. We can do anything if we believe. Day in and day out on their Facebook page, I watch people achieve their goals-- or fall short of their goals and get back up to tri again. Amazing. They've taught me:
You never know until you tri.
So, who's with me?